Living Real in a "Can I Keep It Real" World

"Can I keep it real?"

"Just being real with you"

"#RealTalk"

"#KeepingItReal"


We all know the sayings. We all know the words. They're rampant in today's society.  Being real in a fake world seems to have become the new fad. To be honest, I've attached many a hashtag to my social media posts with the sayings I listed above. I'm probably missing a few, too, that I've used, or seen before. 

Can I pose a question? Why is it that people feel the necessity to ask others if it's ok to "be real" with them? What is it in today's society that makes people feel uncomfortable with being real with each other?

I began thinking about a conversation I had with my Mom a couple of years ago. I had experienced rejection from a ladies group (a couple, actually), and I couldn't figure out why. I went through a list of things on why I'd be rejected or unwanted. Some of those things included because I hadn't had any adult friendships, like ever. Or maybe it was because I was younger. Or maybe it was because I had three kids (At the time it was three. Now I have four). But then my Mom asked me a poignant question. 

"Did you share any of your struggles? Like, did you talk about your past with growing up in a cult? Or did you mention some of the life struggles you were going through?"

At the time, my husband and I were going through some major financial struggles. My husband had lost his job and at the same time, fraud happened on our bank account and we lost a few thousand dollars.  

Of course, I had shared some of those things in the ladies group and I had asked for prayer. I had talked about my life growing up in a cult and how I needed help overcoming my fear of relationships and friendships. I had spilled my guts, practically, asking for help spiritually. When I think back on those days, I realize now that all of a sudden, I was this needy person in a desperate spot, and no one felt they had it in them to be "that person" who could listen, take time and help. 

My Mom mentioned to me that so many times, people will want to be friends, but then as soon as you become needy, in any way, they will often evaluate if they have the time, the mental capacity, the will or the want to be your person. (Yes, I did just throw in a Grey's Anatomy quote. I am a Grey's girl for life! And having "my person" is important, lol). 

That got me to thinking. Why is it that people only want to be friends when things are all sunshine and perfection? Why is it that it's only ok to ask for prayer when you just need some rest, or a child is sick, or your husband is taking a test at work? Why is it ok to not be there for those who are in desperate need?

In short, it's not. It's really not. But in today's fast paced world, with lots of stressors in each person's every day life, no one really wants to deal with the deep, deep things of life and continue on until that person finds healing and restored hope. Of course, when I was thinking about all this stuff, I wondered if it was just the hurt rising up in my own heart that was causing this to be such a big deal, or if there was a Biblical stand point that I could rest my case on, so I did some reading. While I have to be honest and say that this whole thought process DID stem from the hurt of rejection in one of the most neediest times in my life, I realized that maybe I could grow through this and learn something, and then share what I learned. You know, God has a way of speaking through hurt and pain. I think He did just that, for me. 

Here is what I found and what I feel God showed me. 

We are all familiar with the Beatitudes. 


"Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are they who mourn,
for they shall be comforted.

Blessed are the meek,
for they shall inherit the earth.

Blessed are they who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they shall be satisfied.

Blessed are the merciful,
for they shall obtain mercy.

Blessed are the pure of heart,
for they shall see God.

Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they shall be called children of God.

Blessed are they who are persecuted for the sake of righteousness,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."

Matthew 5:3-10

If we want to be like Jesus, we have to have a tender heart for those who are suffering or those who are going through real life issues. We have to be willing to go through the "Can I be real with you" moments. We have to be willing to go deep if we want relationships that will be substational. Besides, the Lord wants us to be merciful. How can we be merciful if we aren't willing to walk through life with people who have real things going on? I'm talking about the real things that range from the washer not working, to the toilet over flowing, to deeper things like miscarriage, marriages dissolving, financial crisis and people suffering from spiritual abuse. Every situation calls for support, love, prayer, real moments. 
We all know the phrase, "Be kind to everyone you meet. You never know the struggle they might be facing today." 
That is so true. There have been so many times in my own life people are so unkind and they have no clue that my husband had just lost his job, or that I was missing my 1000 friends that I left behind when I left a cultish type church. Or that I was struggling so deep with my own self, or my marriage. I am sure I'm guilty of not being there for someone else when I should have been. I'm not always kind. And it's something I am working on, because I never want to be the person who adds insult to injury when someone else is struggling. 
Can we all just "keep it real" all the time and can we all just be there for everyone no matter if life is good or bad? We can't always have a perfect world and we shouldn't expect everyone to just keep their real lives to themselves. It becomes a dividing barrier between those who have more struggles in life than others. It becomes a barrier between those who have money to go out to eat and those who don't. It becomes a barrier between those who have nice houses and those who rent an apartment. It becomes a barrier between those who have experienced a still birth or miscarriage and those who haven't. It comes between those who can afford a nanny and house cleaner and those who either don't want to or can't afford it. 
There are so many things I could write about on this subject, but it breaks my heart when I see mama's on social media trying to "keep up with the Jone's" and feeling guilty because they don't have all the perfection that others have. And can I remind you mama's, those trying to post about their perfect lives most likely DO have struggles, but they either don't feel they can share them (because of reasons listed above) or because they want everyone to think how great they are. It's better to be honest and real than it is to be fake and an inadvertent liar. 
Let's "Keep it Real" all the time. Let's be real with our lives and welcome back the good ol' days where things were simpler and easier to "be real."
Much love to all of you! A Mama committed to being "real" all the time!

5 Minutes with Jesus: A Fresh Infusion of Joy by Sheila Walsh and Sherri Gragg

Every morning, I start my day with worship music and some Bible reading. As a mom to four kids, I find it challenging sometimes to force myself to stop, take a few minutes to pray and read the Bible when my children are clamoring for attention. But it's so necessary for daily life. Days I don't do it, or I don't spend quality time with Jesus, my day seems to be so topsy turvy.

So when I saw the book, "Five Minutes with Jesus; A Fresh Infusion of Joy," I just knew I needed it! I needed a fresh look at Who Jesus is and after all the mundane of every day life, I needed a fresh joy.

As a took time to read through each chapter, I realized how excited I was to go through this, on a daily basis. It is a lengthy book, intended for a chapter a day. (Short chapters). The mini stories were extremely encouraging. The list of scriptures for each day helped me focus on God and His word. And the way it was laid out, written and put together was so lovely and perfect.

I am looking forward to taking time to read through it a lot slower.

I was given this book to read by BookLookBloggers for my honest review.

A Mile Wide: A Book Review

So, earlier this year, I was invited to be apart of a group of ladies to launch Brandon Hatmaker's book, "A Mile Wide." You can't imagine the excitement I had. I haven't been apart of a ton of book launches. This one was the second book launch I've been apart of.

As someone who is a complete fan of Brandon and Jen Hatmaker, I couldn't contain my excitement when got the book in the mail. Pretty sure my heart just leapt into my throat. As a mom to four very rambunctious children, one being just over seven months old, I was worried I wouldn't be up to par on the launch, but as soon as my hands had hold of "A Mile Wide," I couldn't put it down and I just soaked it in. It was one of those books that I sacrificed my night time sleeping just to read in peace and quiet. It's that worth it, folks!

One of my favorite quotes from the book is, 

"What defines me is that I am a child of God. Regardless of how I look on the outside or how I spend my time, I am a sinner, saved by grace, assured of who I am in Christ."

This book encouraged me to realize who I am in God, and where I can go in Him. I was apart of a cult for nearly 17 years of my life, and it seemed everything I did, once I left, was condemned by them. Hell was spoken over me so many times, I decided that living for God wasn't worth it. He was too hard to live for. But as time has gone on, I realized that living for God was worth it. I can't say that it was Brandon's book that turned my story around, but it impacted me in a deeper way than ever before. 

Another quote from the book that I love is: 

"But Jesus' people are made up of everyone. 

He loves near and far, the normal and the weird.

If we are Christ followers, loving as Jesus loved, including who He included

then we also need to set a wider table.

None of us are better or worse,

more or less worthy, likely or welcome.

This book touches on how we can be a better church, community, person, people. It touches on who we are in Jesus. It touches on who we need to be in Him. It touches on rejection and how we are accepted by Him. It touches on how we need to be Jesus and how Jesus is to us. It touches on His love for us. It touches on how we can go deeper in our relationship with Him and how to not be shallow in our thinking and spiritual lives. This book brings you to the point where you can't judge the person sitting next to you all tatted up (after all, the author has some tats!) or if they look like they just stepped out of heaven itself. It touches on how everyone is equal in the sight of God, how God loves each person in the place that they're in and how we should be the same. 

Go out and grab your copy today! It'll be worth it. It releases on September 13th and if you preorder, you'll get some fun, free goodies! And even if you can't preorder, still buy the book. It'll be on Amazon and in Barnes and Noble. I think it will be other places as well.

PreOrder a Mile Wide Here!

I received this book from Nelson Books for free so I could give my honest review. (Thank you, Nelson Books!)

Where Hope Prevails: Book Review

Where Hope Prevails is a fascinating, heart stopping, addictive book. To be honest, I had never read any of Oke's books before, although I have thumbed through them on occasion at any random book store. But, curiosity got the better of me, so I decided to take a leap and give her a chance! I am glad I did.

This book centers around a young woman who travels a lot, falls in love, has relationships that grow, and relationships that pull further apart. She has choices to make and you get to experience the tug and the pull of each decision she faces.

Something that is nice about the book is that it has a Christian spin to it, although it does not mesh well with my own personal beliefs. But if you've got an open mind, it won't matter much what beliefs this book holds, because I think you can enjoy it just the way it is.

Elizabeth and Jarrick seem to have issues in their lives that they have to overcome to be together. In a practical view, this book has a lot of good life applications that we can align next to our lives and learn from. Marriage and relationships aren't for the faint of heart and I believe this book does a very good job at showing that.

I received this book from Bethany House Publishers for free in exchange for my honest review.

Find Your Brave: Book Review

Find Your Brave was written by the fabulous Holly Wagner. I have enjoyed her posts on Facebook and Twitter for a long while now, so when I heard this book was coming out, I was even more excited to read it! Being brave isn't a quality I have always had, and I wouldn't classify my self as a brave person today, although I have learned quite a bit about it in the past 6 years of my life.

Finding Your Brave covers a lot on how to be brave in the midst of life's inevitable storms. Life has a way of throwing each one of us into the fire at some point or other and being able to be brave can be a struggle. Holly takes us through Act 27 quite a bit and shows us how we can be brave, how we can trust God, how we can proclaim faith over our lives and circumstances.

Holly also talks about how, during life's struggles, sometimes it's good for us to reach out to others and help them through their struggles, and help them "Find Their Brave" while we are finding our brave.

I enjoyed reading this book, because I have been through a lot in my life (who hasn't?!) and sometimes I come to a stopping point in my relationship with God and don't know where to turn. Sometimes, during the struggle, I wonder how I'm supposed to continue on. But Holly gives a clear, poignant, precise guide on how we can be overcomers and get our brave on.

I received this book from "Blogging for Books" for my review.

With All Due Respect: Book Review

With All Due Respect, written by Ruesner and Hitchcock, was a very interesting, good book to read on how to raise tweens and teens. I am a mother to four children under the age of 6 years old. I have yet to reach the "tween" era, but since I just sent my oldest child off to school for the first time, I figured this book would give me some insight on what to expect. I also sent my second oldest to pre-k.

My children love to push boundaries, and often test the waters, especially with two of them being in school already. They come home, positive they know better than me and that they don't have to obey or respect me anymore. Outside influences are way too strong.

So when I got this book, I was excited to see if this would help me with my relationship with my kids already. And sure enough, I believe the authors did a great job helping me now, even though we aren't at the stage of the tweenage madness.

This book gave several great pointers on how to be gentle, loving, kind, compassionate (and all those other great traits of a good parent) parent to my kids. It went in depth on how to go deeper with God as well, which is important as a Jesus-following family. I love the way they wrote it, where they asked questions about me, the reader, to consider and to answer. It was very interactive and sort of pulled the reader (me) into keeping on reading. I didn't want to put the book down. Normally that only happens when it's a story book, like fiction or a very well written biography. But this one was great! I would suggest it to anyone who is starting out with raising kids at any age.

I was given this book for free to review by BookLookBloggers. I was not compensated in any way.

Go Big or Go Home: Scotty McCreary

This is a book review for BookLookBloggers. I was given this book to review for free.

Scotty McCreary was a small town, country boy that lived a typical life as a check out boy at their small grocery store and decided to audition for American Idol, and ultimately won, becoming a national sensation across the entire world.

I love his heart behind what he wrote. It showed how people can be real, small town people and go from pretty much doing nothing with their life to living their dream. It shows, that with a bit of determination and elbow grease, that anyone can reach for the moon and at least land on the stars!

His humility and determination throughout the book is a very good example on how people should live their life. I love that he brings his faith in God into it. It shows that a young man can still love God, and still be a star across the nations.

From singing on a school bus in grade school to living the dream, traveling in tour buses with revered bands across the world, Scotty McCreary shows that a person can be humble, yet live a fabulous life!