The Poor, The Rich, The Inbetweeners

I don't think I'd ever classify myself as rich monetarily, even if we made millions a year, just because I don't want to be put in that bracket. I would rather give to the poor and needy than act like I own the world because I own a Mercedes or a six bedroom home with pools and water fountains.

I have been classified as poor. But being poor taught me a whole lot. I used to sit there thinking that the poor people just were lazy, didn't want to better themselves and wanted to live off of government assistance because it was "just easier that way." That couldn't be farther from the truth. While there are people in the world who take advantage of the system and abuse it, there are people out there who really do just need a hand up for a while.

Like for us, we never expected to need assistance. But after my husband suffered an injury in the US Navy, we were suddenly without a paycheck. He had expected to spend four years in (at least) and then go through college while he was working for the Navy. But with his injury, he could no longer do the PT as required and was offered a medical/Honorable Discharge. We had one other option and that was desk duty for six months and then retest for PT. But after further consultation with a doctor, he told Paul he'd probably never have the stamina needed in his leg that he needed to be apart of the Navy. So we decided to take the discharge and hope for the best. It took nearly 2 months afterwards to get a job that didn't hardly pay at all. We had a small son to take care of. I got on birth control so we wouldn't have the stress of another baby. But the birth control sent me out of control with anger and depression, so I found other ways to prevent. Well, a few months after he got out of the Navy, despite my efforts to not get pregnant, I had that positive pregnancy test. So that began our journey with assistance. I got Medicaid and food stamps. Paul was working at finding a college and loans and getting an education. I stayed at home, taking care of our kids. We conserved. We saved. We didn't have TV service. Just internet and Netflix. We had flip phones that cost about $30 a month. We didn't turn lights on unless it was so dark we couldn't see. We didn't run the A/C (we lived in California) and we took baths that were short and quick. We had a car payment which was less than $300 a month and rent. We never ate out. We didn't stop at Starbucks. We did what we could to be financially responsible, but we still needed help.

Then we began thinking about moving to Texas and being closer to my parents. So he talked to his job about getting a transfer to Texas. The cost of rent would be a lot cheaper and so would insurance and other things. We were also told the store in Texas had much better sales and commissions, so we would make more money.  So his job arranged the transfer (or so we thought). We used our tax return to get to Texas and rent an apartment. We got settled in our new home, only to find out that Paul's job didn't complete the transfer and the Texas store knew nothing about him. He was again without a job. it took another three months for him to get involved with job, this time on the technical level, which was what he was going to college for. It paid great (compared to what we were getting before) and he took a second job to bring in extra cash. But still, we had barely anything left for food and I was still pregnant. So we stayed on Food Stamps and Medicaid.

Then he was offered a great job at a different company that was permanent, full time, $7 more than he was being paid at the time and it was just fantastic. It had hourly and commission. Plus he could do limitless overtime. We were finally off government assistance!

Then that job decided after nearly a year to go to contractors only and fired everyone for petty things. The excuse to get rid of my husband was because he had pneumonia and had to miss two days. One of those days, he had a doctors note telling them he needed to rest and the other day because they sent him home after fainting at work. It was totally documented and they even admitted it was, but said they still needed to get rid of him. So once again, just months after getting off of everything we had to go right back on.

My husband then got another job that paid plenty for our bills and a bit of food, but we still needed help with food. We were paying for our own insurance. So we stayed on assistance for the food. All this time, we were barely running the AC, eating cheaply, rarely getting anything out (the rare occasion of iced coffee from McDonalds and a Subway sandwich did happen...but it was always a special occasion).

Now you're asking why I write all this. I just wanted to share my story, because I know so many look down on those who have government assistance. They think they're all lazy. They think they WANT that. We never wanted it. The looks we got, the smirks, the outspoken meanness and hatred thrown our way when we'd buy a steak or chicken or fish, or even eggs, or fruit. It was like everyone thought we didn't deserve that stuff because it was food stamps. Little did they know my husband often worked two jobs to keep us afloat. Little did they know we were doing everything we could to save and be responsible. What was so wrong about us having fruit and meat? Nothing. Do I agree that people on assistance should go through a drug test and things of that sort? Yes. People who are spending all their money on drugs, alcohol and whatever else shouldn't be allowed to get food stamps. People who aren't looking for jobs, or have jobs shouldn't get benefits. (Unless of course, they're disabled and have good reason why they can't).

My main point of this is Poor People aren't bad. Some people are seriously doing their best. Just like we are both attending college. My husband now has a job that normally has to have a college degree to do but between years of experience and his years of college work, he was able to get it. But you know what? I am still using Medicaid...thanks to the insurance the company he has not supporting pregnancy besides one ultrasound. We had no clue this company insurance didn't support pregnancy at all. Does that make me a bad person? No. We are paying all our bills. We are buying our own food. We are doing everything ourselves. Sometimes people just need a little help and that isn't a bad thing at all. Maybe we can be a lot kinder in this world towards people who just need some help.