Something that I have felt impressed upon is how there is only one me. I look up to a lot of people. I have people that I feel are so far beyond me in the spiritual realm, and in so many other ways too, and I look up to them, follow them (quite literally, I must say...Facebook, Twitter, Instagram...all those social media websites), and try to imitate their actions. You might say I've come to realize that I am in a very child-like spot in my life. I haven't learned who "Me" is yet. Not sure that is proper grammar, but if it's not, then well....oh well. I could have written it as "I" but I feel there is more weight in the word, "me" for this subject.
I've always been a follower with leader type tendencies that get me into trouble so often. I've been asking God who I am. I mean, not just in the sense of searching for Him to say how He loves me and how I am His daughter. All that is great to be reminded of, but in more depth. Like, "Who am I? What purpose do I have in this life? What does God want from me?"
My mind wandered to so many spiritual pillars in the church today, like Christine Caine, Lisa TerKuerst, Brian Houston, Priscilla Shier, Garry Chapman, Kari Jobe Carnes, Charlotte Gambill and many others. Then of course, I think about the Bible characters, Paul, John, Peter, Mary and Joseph, Ruth, and all the others in the Bible.
So many leaders!
But how often do we hear of the underlings? The ones that do all the stuff that isn't seen? There are millions of them! Well, there's the word that triggered something in my heart. Millions. There are millions of people who have a place in God's kingdom. But for some reason, in my heart, I began questioning what my role in His kingdom would be. Why would I be needed? Why would I have a place in this majestic symphony that God has going?
So I asked God one night if He had a purpose for my life besides being a mother and wife. I'm not downplaying those things. They have their place and purpose and they're huge too! Who would raise the kids if my husband and I didn't? After all, we are raising kingdom changers! That's a pretty big thing I think! But I know that God has a calling on my life. I know He has a purpose for me to serve in His Body in some sort of way. Whether that be answering phones for a church, or cleaning bathrooms, or encouraging the young women that are pregnant and unmarried, or whatever it may be. I don't know. So here I was, floundering around asking God what I am supposed to be doing! His answer? Simple.
There is only one you!
Only one me! Ponder that for a moment. There's only one you. Amazing! So ask I asked God what that meant in a deeper sense, He began to speak to me about microphones. This isn't the first time that God has spoken to me about microphones. I think it was about two or three years ago He began speaking to me about their purpose. God has a sense of humor! He also talked to me about donkeys, but that's for later.
What is the purpose of microphones? To amplify someone's voice. To allow them to be heard far and near by a large crowd. Add to that mix, those big, ugly speakers that look like huge lego blocks. If those microphones and speakers weren't there, a person's voice can't be heard. But when that person is speaking, are you thinking about how great the microphone is and how awesome the speakers look? Probably not. I know I don't. I am focused on the person talking and taking in what they are saying. But those microphones and speakers have a place. They're needed. They're wanted. They're very much necessary.
Sometimes as a mother and wife, I feel secluded and behind the scenes. And whatever God has next for me will be great, because whatever it is will be necessary. It will be needed. Each piece in the puzzle of God's giant plan is absolutely needed because it is what completes the picture. Some pieces are center stage. Some pieces are on the side and hold it all together.
God was speaking to me how, as a mother, I am needed desperately. My kids need me to show them how to read the alphabet, teach them how to add and subtract, how to solve problems, how to clean, and cook, and everything else in between. God wants me to teach them how to pray and search His heart. He wants me to show them how to serve others and live a life committed to Him. He needs me to be an example of godliness so they have a path to follow. There is only one me. Only I can do this as their mother. What a big job! What a privilege. What a blessing! What a complete honor that God would entrust these little hearts to me.
But it all boils down to knowing Who gives the strength to be "me." I can't do it on my own. Just like the microphones can't just make voices expand into the air so people far and near can hear, I can't just be a mother by myself. I have to acknowledge Who gives me that grace, power and strength.
Galatians 2:20 says, "It is not I that lives, but Christ that lives in me."
Mark 16: 17-18 says, "I have received the power of the Holy Spirit to lay hands on the sick, to see them recover, to cast out demons, to speak in new tongues. I have power over all the power of the enemy and nothing shall harm me."
Ephesians 1: 17-18 says, "I have received the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Jesus. They eyes of my understanding are enlightened."
Ephesians 2:5 says, "I am alive in Christ."
Colossians 2:10 says, "I am complete in Him Who is the Head of all principality and power."
You see, it's Him. It's Him that makes me, Me. It is Him that makes me whole. It is Him that gives me the strength to do all things in Him. (Phil. 4:13). I can't do it on my own. I need Him every single hour. I need His strength and power. I need His wisdom and sound mind. I need His love and patience. I can't do anything without Him. Without Him, I am nothing. The only thing I can be is be in Him and let Him guide my steps.
Finding my place in the Body of Christ is no different. He will guide me. He will teach me. He will show me. I am just thankful that there is a huge, big, giant, awesome God out there that will teach me His path and show me the place He has for me. I don't have to go begging for it. There is a spot for me, just for me, because only "me" can complete this part of the puzzle. And I don't want to miss out on God's plan for my life and sit on the side lines hoping that someday I'll just fall into place. I just have to search His heart, ask Him for His plan and follow His direction.
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