Soft Answers

Monday was "one of those days" where it seemed like everything that could go wrong, did. I mean, seriously, it was one thing after another. I'm pregnant, so even the smallest things seemed to make my world spin and crash. Probably hormones...yeah, that's what I'll blame it all on. But for real, my kids were having attitude, my husband's phone wasn't working so I couldn't text or call him while he was at work to pour my tired soul out to him, I got a medical bill for something that shouldn't have been billed to me, I was having strong Braxton Hicks and on top of all that, my dad informed me he had been in the hospital and then my on-call babysitter for the birth backed out. I'm due in 4 weeks. Talk about panic mode. 

To say my answers and conversations were full of emotion and thoughtlessness would be an understatement. I could blame it all on hormones and the fact that I am a fiery red head, but instead, I'll focus on the real root issue; my heart. 

My day hadn't started out right. I hadn't prayed. I hadn't read my Bible. I hadn't turned on worship music. I really just got out of bed and started the day running, not even taking a thought about God, or fixing my heart on Him. Teach me a lesson, huh? 

I noticed that everyone I talked to, I offended, even my kids. Everyone seemed upset at me. Everyone was just "done" with  me and I crawled into a hole, crying my little sore heart out and feeling like the worst failure in the entire world. 

But what could have changed all that? I had to ponder that and it's taken me days to really face the fact that I can be a confrontational person. I have all sorts of reasons that I am that way, some valid, some not. I have something inside me that cries for justice, not just for myself, but for anyone I feel that is wronged. It's one of those things in me that I think God has given me as a gift, but I need to ask Him for wisdom on how to channel it for His purpose and plan. 

Something that popped into my head is the scripture that talks about soft answers. When we give a soft answer in the face of those who are wronging us, we are filled with a power that is really inhuman. It's miraculous. It's godly. It's from heaven, quite literally. But when we spew the first words that come to our little, finite brains, often times we end up wounding the ones who we feel have wounded us. Two wrongs never make a right. Like never. So how do we overcome this? How to we train ourselves to be meek and gentle? It's hard! It'll take time. But here are a few steps that I am putting into place for myself that I think will help! 

1. Don't ever reply to that message/call/text right away. You're sure to be a spitfire and hurt the other person.

2. Put yourself in their shoes and try to see it from their perspective, even if it's wrong.

3. Look for the good in the person. Doesn't matter if they're the worst person in the world...there is something good about them somewhere. 

4. Pray for them. (Pray for your enemies, remember?)

5. Know when to just not respond at all! Know that there will be times it's better to just keep quiet. Doesn't matter if they're as wrong as wrong can be, sometimes keeping our mouths shut is better than saying anything. 

Another thing that you can do just to have a good day is read your Bible. Pray. Turn on some worship music. Get a download from heaven before you start your day. And if you find that you're running low on time and don't have time to do all that stuff, then your priorities are wrong. Get up a little earlier. Make time. God is most important. I failed at that the other morning and I fail at that all the time, actually. I am having to realign my focus and realign my heart to the plumb line God has for me. I notice that the days I do take time to commit to  Him and worship Him that my day, no matter what bad things happen, my day goes better, my heart feels happier and my attitude is on point. 

God bless you guys! Keep up the good work. Never lose faith. Always trust. Always hope. Always believe. 

Heart of Jesus

What does it mean to have the heart of Jesus? I don't think we will ever quite know. We aren't perfect. We aren't in His mind. But we can ask for wisdom. We can ask for help. He gladly helps us in our time of need.

This past week, Paris, France experienced unspeakable horror. Many people lost their lives and many are injured. In the wake of that, many states decided to not accept any Syrian refugees after President Obama said our country was open to taking in some. I have seen mixed reactions. I have seen some people (the majority) be excited about that. Then I have seen the rare few question why we wouldn't.

Before you get the wrong idea, I agree with both sides. How, you say?  I'm not one to follow crowds. I sorta just don't go along with the crowds very easily. I don't mind speaking my mind. I don't mind standing up for what I think is right. I don't mind people not liking me for my opinion either. It's not because I like confrontation and making people upset. I just feel "ok" with not being the most liked person. Everyone wants acceptance, but hey, sometimes we have to go a different route to change the world!

I agree that we should be focusing on our own country and helping the homeless here. There are so many that need a warm place to stay, a job, a meal, etc. There are hundreds of thousands of veterans that aren't receiving hard earned benefits that they should be getting, no questions asked. There is money being siphoned out to who knows what and who knows where that the government just throws away. There are many, many, many needs in our country that needs to be addressed. Like the crazy Obama Care insurance thing. It's downright crazy to fine people for not having insurance when the reason the don't have it is most likely because they can't afford it. Sure, go ahead and fine people who don't have money. That's real smart. (Not...read the sarcasm). Of course, there are a lot of other issues in our country that needs addressing.

But does that diminish the needs of others as well? No. While I do see people's points on how dangerous it is to open our country to people who could very possibly be terrorists, what about all the innocent ones as well? We can't ignore the need. Do I have a solution? No. I don't. I honestly don't know much about this whole situation with the Syrian refugees. I don't keep up with the news much. But I do know the heart of God wants us to meet needs.

Matthew 25:35 For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home.

Job 31:32 says, "...but no stranger had to spend the night in the streets, for my door was always open to travelers."

Hebrews 13:2 "Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by doing so, some have shown hospitality to angels."

James 2:15, 16 "Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes or daily food. If one of you says, 'Go in peace. Keep warm and well fed,' but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it?"

There are other scriptures as well that go along the same lines. I don't think Jesus was talking about just people from our neighborhood, or the homeless person on the street. He wants our hearts and minds to be open to everyone who is in need. That is his heart. What is the kingdom of God without some risks and danger? His whole kingdom is built upon people who dared to be different, who dared to stand out, who dared to do the thing that everyone else wasn't willing to risk their lives to do. 

There are needy people out there and if they come to my hometown, I hope to welcome them with open arms despite their religion and what they stand for. Maybe, just maybe, showing compassion, love and acceptance, their hearts will yearn for what I have; Jesus. Maybe they'll want to know more. Maybe they'll give their hearts to Jesus. Maybe if we dare to do the unthinkable and the seemingly irrational, we can change the world. I've never seen anyone change the world or become something in this world without putting their necks out a little! Jesus was killed for who He was. I think risking to love some people, despite what others think, is worth it. 

And if you find my post here offensive, then maybe reading the much revered, much lookup-ed to, Jen Hatmakers post and comments, might help you. I am copying and pasting what she had to say earlier today on this subject.

"It really can be dreadful, this Jesus life. Just dreadful. I completely agree and suffer through all the same anxiety about it. I really do. I desire about 64% of Jesus. That is about all of Him and His ways I can handle. I really mean this. For every 6 things I like about Jesus' stuff, there are 4 that I am totally willing to ignore or discredit. I do it every day, you guys. I look several things in the eye and say NOPE. I hover around a D-. 

Take Matthew 25, for example. What a disaster! Jesus so deeply identifies himself with the prisoner and the hungry and the stranger and the naked and poor, He says, "When you consider them and their plight, imagine that it is actually Me you are serving." 

Let me tell you something, Jesus: LOW BLOW. I do NOT want to see your face in the faces of these complicated, hurting, needy people. When I see a prisoner, I want to see "criminal." When I see the homeless, I want to see "addict." When I see a refugee, I want to see "threat" or at least "financial drain." 

What I do not want to see is your sweet face. 

Why couldn't you identify with more stable people? We like you in the faces of our children and best friends, for example. We like you in our government and in our Family Friendly Movies. We like you in our pretty churches and gated neighborhoods. 

We do not want to see you in the faces of the poor. That sucks. Now you are really messing with us. You do realize what this sort of holy identification will cost and require, right?

Why?? Why did you have to say all that in Matthew 25? I very much prefer Christian rules to this nonsense. (And it is nonsense, Jesus. Your ways do not make any sort of conventional sense.) I know we are to live this death and resurrection with you, but I only like the resurrection part. I'm serious. I want to skip the death part because it is too hard and requires way too much dying. Rules! You know we prefer rules! If we just dress modestly and don't say the f-word, can we call it a day? 

It is so hard down here, Jesus. People are so hurt and scared and abused and confused. We want to follow you but your ways are so terrifying sometimes. Thanks for looking into our faces and seeing "brothers and sisters" instead of cowards and charlatans. You have always elevated our status. I guess if you can see us through miraculous eyes then maybe we have the capacity to look at others and see, well, you. 

All this is so hard, Jesus. This world is so banged up. We need you. Help us. Strengthen our faith. Help us trust you. Break our hearts if you must. Give us new eyes to see." ---Jen Hatmaker

She responded to a jilted fan, after the fan told her she was being manipulative and trying to convince people it was ok to accept "possible terrorists" and "dangerous people" into our country. Here is her response:

 I assure you I have no desire to manipulate you. This post is true. Every word. I do, in fact, find following Jesus very hard and sometimes terrible. I do ignore at least 40% of what He said. Blatantly. And what remains of Matthew 25 is simply this: after saying welcoming in the stranger is like welcoming in Himself, I am stuck concluding that Jesus meant it. So at the bare minimum, our posture toward refugees should at least be riddled with compassion, and to its bitter end, we are supposed to be something like a loving host. (And alas, I'm permanently stuck with these "rose colored Jesus glasses," I'm afraid. I'm like lasik-ed. It's hopeless. )

Following Jesus is hard, guys. It's hard. Living for Jesus isn't all snowflakes and lollipops. It's not all fun and games. We can't just accept one person and not the other. I don't care if there is a terrorist standing before my face. I will chose to love him. I will chose to show him the power of Jesus' love. I will stare him in the eye and welcome him. I will chose to follow God wherever it leads me, because it is there, that I am most safe. Let's impact the world with Love. Let's impact the world by daring the be different, by daring to be Jesus to those who are full of hate, violence and murder. 

Starbucks and Christianity: My Thoughts

It's a cup. It's a cute red cup with the Starbucks logo on it.

The reason I mention the logo, is because I want to talk about the origin of it. Did you know the logo is Greek? And the meaning behind it is obsession, addiction and death? There is another meaning as well, where it's called a "siren" and it's associated with the ocean. In mythology, Sailors would become so fixated on it that they would crash on rocks and ultimately, die. 

Ok. So we are all worked up that there aren't more Christmas decorations on the cup, and it doesn't say, "Merry Christmas" on it. Well, some people are worked up. At this moment in time, it's an, "I can't even" moment. Why aren't we more worked up about the logo they have, if we are going to be upset at anything? Which I still don't think we should be upset about. Let me expound. There are hundreds of companies out there that support abortion. Here is a list of just a few: Adobe Systems (if you use a computer and download videos, or watch youtube, then you probably use a system of theirs), Bank of America, Chevron (the gas company), CIGNA (insurance), Coca-Cola, eBay, Este Lauder, Fannie Mae, Gap (including Baby Gap...oh dear, all those cute clothes!!),  General Electric (oh no, better not cook our food on them again!), Home Depot (better not build houses or fix things!), JP Morgan Chase Corp, Macy's, Nike, Office Depot, Proctor and Gamble, Quest Diagnostics (better not go to the doctor and get our blood tested!), ....wait for it....STARBUCKS, Tiffany & Co. (better not go buying your girl a nice ring or necklace), Time Warner (don't have TV or internet), Oh heavens no...USPS...better not send any mail!, Walt Disney (don't buy any Disney products or go have a family vacation there),  Wells Fargo and Whole Foods. 

Gasp. If we are to get up in arms about the lack of a #MerryChristmas on Starbucks cup that has a logo that depicts obsession, addiction and death, then I think we should also be in arms about all these companies (plus a ton others) who support little babies being murdered. Let's go march around them with signs, shouting our full disapproval. Let's create a hashtag for all these companies and express our downright indignation over that atrocity. 

I'm joking. If we were to get up in arms over all the bad things that different companies support or do/not do, then I am pretty sure that we'd never take a step outside our homes. Oh wait! I bet we wouldn't even have homes because we wouldn't be able to go to Home Depot to get supplies to build those homes. 

Christians, let me tell you something. People are turned off by you when you find something so silly to be offended over! Here's a point I want to make. My grandfather used to be a Dallas, Texas policeman. He would spend his "off" time, sometimes helping large churches with their parking on Sunday's. He saw people fighting over parking spots and being rude to each other, on their way to church. It made him feel like Christians were just hypocrites. Of course, it is each person's choice to become a Christian and love God, but the way we, as Christians, act really does matter. We have people observing us all over the place and if we can't leave a legacy of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness and self control, how are we to expect them to want to follow Christ? We can't. If we can't leave a good example, then they have nothing to follow. 

Alright, I'll turn it back on myself. I have taught my kids to not chew ice, because it is bad for their teeth. During this pregnancy, I have become anemic, thus causing me to crave ice. Our new home has an ice maker on the refrigerator, and it crushes it as well! Yum. More of an, "Oops." Because I have found myself filling my cup with crushed ice and chewing on it. My kids walked up to me and said, "Mommy! You're not supposed to be chewing the ice! It's bad for your teeth!" I have found myself struggling (even as I type this) to not want to chew on ice. Here I am, a mommy who is trying to raise her kids to be obedient and healthy. Yet I spoke one thing and did another, leaving a bad example to my kids. *not mommy of the year*.  I say all that to show how, when we preach love, yet we find joy in having "some good natured fun" by asking the barista at Starbucks to write, "Merry Christmas" as our name, we are being hypocrites. First of all, it's lying. Our names aren't, "Merry Christmas." You look silly doing that. And secondly, you're just showing that barista that you're offended over something that is completely irrelevant. If you want to have more impact, why don't you go into Starbucks some evening and say, "Merry Christmas" to the patrons and baristas. Sit and have a nice conversation with the barista that is on break. Ask him/her how she's doing. Show an interest in their lives. Be Jesus to them. Show love. 

Jesus' mission on earth was to love people. He wants to see people's lives changed, renewed, filled with hope and joy. Let's be the ones who bring the peace and joy this season, instead of passive aggressive making fun of a silly, red cup at Starbucks. 

Giving 100%

Last night I was watching Dancing with the Stars and my favorite dancer is Bindi Irwin. She is adorably cute, outgoing, full of life and most of all, she gives 100% to every dance she does. If she trips up, she keeps going and gives even more "spit fire" to her dance to make up for the mistake.  The judges commented last night on how they loved her ability to give everything to every single dance. You could sense the pride they had in her. Despite not holding her shoulders and head back quite right in the dance, they kept commenting on how they loved her fortitude and willingness to plow ahead. They were also amazed she kept at the practicing despite her feet being torn up and even losing a couple of toe nails! She superglued them on! Now that's what I call someone who has fortitude and is completely undaunted. 

How many love it when they see someone just plowing through life despite what life hands them? How many people are inspired by their actions when someone gets hurt, or injured or has a whole bunch of lemons handed to them in life, yet they never complain and keep at it? 

I know I am completely floored, encouraged, inspired and want to be like them, when I see a person like that. 

Giving 100% is difficult sometimes. Sometimes we have things weighing us down, whether it be finances, illness, pain, fear, depression, and so on and we just can't seem to get our feet back under us. There have been days I've not even wanted to crawl out of bed. I've not always been the most positive, uplifting person. But I realized last night that those, "We all have bad days, it's ok" saying, really is a saying we give meaning to by choice! We don't have to have "bad days!" Bad days happen. It's inevitable. But what makes it bad for us is our choices and our attitude. We chose to let the bad days bring us down. We chose to slum around in a pity party. We chose to allow the stress and frustrations of life bring us down. 

I saw on Dancing with the Stars last night, the wince on Bindi's face when Derek asked her if she was ok. She kept saying, "I'm fine. Let's keep going! I've got to keep going!" It didn't matter that she literally had holes on the bottoms of her feet, or that her toe nails were falling off. It didn't matter that her ribcage hurt and was bruised from practicing. She saw the goal in sight. She knew she had a purpose, a reason, to keep at it. 

Some of us have to stop and say, "Well, where is my purpose? Where is my goal?" Some of us feel lost on a daily basis, not knowing which way is up and which way is down. We feel overwhelmed because life keeps handing us lemons and we've made so much lemonade, we're sick of it. We just want iced tea now. (analogy!) But sometimes we have to just keep smiling. That is what becomes our goal. Smile. Be happy. Chose, chose, chose happiness. Every day is a choice to be happy or depressed. If you don't have a huge goal to reach, set little goals. 

Here's a few ideas I came up with for myself, because right now, I don't have a lot going on in my life to have goals for. 

1. Brush my hair every day and do something nice with it, at least twice a week. 

2. Enjoy the sunshine on my face. The extra vitamin D is always good. 

3. Enjoy the prattling, the non-stop prattling, of my kids. (Heaven help me!)

4. Clean up the house every night before bed. Waking up to a relatively clean home always makes one feel better. 

5. Do something to make someone else smile. Helping others always brings a smile to my face and heart!

After having my baby, I plan on having some work out goals and goals for eating healthy, etc. Life always has something to offer that is good, no matter what bad things are happening. Let's learn to give 100% during every circumstance in our life. Let's let our lives inspire others to be happy! When we give 100% in the face of struggles, we will be laying the groundwork in our hearts as well as others to be women of fortitude. Undaunted. Fearless. Lionesses. We can do this, ladies! Let's be the inspiration we want to see in the world!

Letting Go and Letting God

Each of us face situations in our lives that are just out of control. Whether it's with finances, family, friends, jobs, co-workers, health issues, etc, we all have them.

For me, I have had a situation in my life where I've been trying to gain control of a situation where all I can do is be nice, be nice, be nice and be nice some more. Part of me doesn't want to be nice. Part of me wants to say, "Hey people, I've been nice to you for so many years and you've slammed the door in my face over and over, so good bye. Good luck." And maybe a few more choice words that I shouldn't be thinking or feeling or saying....but I'm human. I get angry. I get hurt. I get offended. I fail. Sorry folks...but it's a reality we all must face. Thank Jesus that we can ask for forgiveness and move on.

Anyways, this past week, something else happened that was pretty much just slam dunk rude and mean. I literally felt punched in the gut. You know how it is. People are nice to your face, you think things are going well and then BAM. Their true colors come out? Well, that happened. Again. I had a few moments....let me be real...it was more like a few hours...maybe a day, that I was angry. I mean downright crying, screeching out my dismay, hurt, crocodile sized tears and rubbing my runny nose into my husband's tear-soaked t-shirt. Heaven bless him.

After I had calmed down a bit, I prayed. First I had to ask for God's forgiveness for being so mean with my thoughts and words. Then I asked Him what to do next. Heaven seemed silent. A whole day passed and I was still having moments where I seethed with anger. How on earth did I deserve this? What did I do to make these people so inconsiderate of my feelings? Why did I have to be so concerned about them and their feelings and them totally not care about how I feel? God. I need an answer. Now.

Well, heaven seemed to stay silent for a while. Then last night, I was laying in bed, scrolling through Facebook as I typically do, right before sleeping and up popped a picture with the words scrawled across it, "God can do in a second what you have been trying to do for years." Thank you Christine Caine for those words!

So there was my answer. I just need to pray. I need to pray for these people who keep hurting me over and over for some unknown reason. Well, I know some of the reason, but their reasoning is based off of lies and rumors and things they want to believe to justify themselves in treating me like this. But that isn't something I want to expound on to protect them and even though it would feel really good to share the truth of the entire matter, it would hurt them in the process and I would prefer to not do to them as they are doing to me. But prayer can change things and that should have been the first thing I turned to, but for some reason, for years, I thought by being nice, thinking of them, doing things for them and trying to express my interest in being their friend, it would change things. But instead, I think it's made it worse. So now, my last resort is prayer. Like I said, it should have been my first thing I turned to. But here I am. Better late than never. I have to let go and let God do His thing.  So here I am, praying. Praying for God to reach their hearts, to soften them, to show them my heart and how I really do love them. I am also praying that God will help my heart understand if it isn't His will to do what I ask. God's plans are always better than mine. Always.

Morning Time

I'm not a morning person. Anyone who knows me, knows I pretty much dislike mornings. As a mother, I've struggled with the early mornings that come with having kids. Kids don't just turn over and fall back asleep like adults do. After three years of trying to get my kids to fall asleep, or stay in bed just a tiny bit longer, I resigned myself to early mornings. But then I changed my whole outlook. I noticed that on mornings that I challenged myself to get up early, eat a nice breakfast and have some coffee, I had a much better day. There are still mornings I lay in bed, looking at my clock dreaming of another 30 minutes of sleep. But when it comes to being a good mother, I have to remind myself that my mornings are important.

I know I can't be the only mother who dislikes mornings. So I came up with a list of things that I do to help motivate myself to enjoy mornings! I hope you enjoy it and that it helps someone out there too.


1. Plan ahead. Have something "fun" planned for yourself in the morning. That could range from saving a recorded TV show, to having coffee already made and ready in the fridge, to having bagels and cream cheese ready for the toaster.

2. When you wake up, don't lay there for ages "waking up" because you'll only get more tired. Wonderful feathery fluffiness of your pillow might just convince you to lay there and suddenly you're waking up an hour later.

3. Start your morning off with a nice, big drink of cool water. It has a way of starting your digestive system for the day, energizes you and you won't be so hungry, so you won't binge eat.

4. Always have devotions in the quiet of the morning before the kids wake up. Listen to a worship song too. It has a great way of cheering you up, filling you with faith and giving you determination for the day.

5. Open the blinds. Let the light flood in! That buttery yellow that comes with early morning light always gives me a feeling that this new day is a fresh start and anything is possible!

6. Don't deal with stressful things (bills, calls, emails, etc) first thing in the morning. They will be there in an hour. Give yourself the early morning hour(s) to focus on you. It's important to have time alone, time in the quiet, time to relax, time to refocus.

7. Pray. That's the biggest one. Never forget to pray. Ask God for guidance for the day. Pray for your friends, your husband, your co-workers, your boss, your kids, and anyone you know of that needs prayers. I often throw in the politicians and those who lead our country.


And on the days you just don't feel ready for the day, know that some other mother, somewhere in the world isn't feeling it either. You're not alone. <3

Snappy Days to Happy Days~~ A Message for Moms

We all have them. Those days we just can't function, those days that we want to stay in bed, those days we can't seem to make ourselves just enjoy life. It happens. There are days we are so exhausted we just want cup after cup of coffee and a good tv show, or book.

But we're moms.

That dreaded word, "Mom." That loved word, "Mom." It's all mixed into one. We aren't perfect. Let's get real. It sounds horrible to say it's a dreaded word, but how many hands can I get to admit that we have days that if our kids yell "mom" one more time, we are going to snap? I am going to guess that every single mom who is willing to be honest with themselves will say they have those days.

We are in the middle of a move. We just bought a house and it will be ready for us to move in to in about a month. I am pregnant. I am at that point that I feel really good for about the first hour of the day and the rest of the day feels like I'm pulling around a bag of 100 bricks. I'm exhausted. My kids have been feeling the tension of the move, and all the trips to see homes and sign papers and to sign more papers, runs to the bank etc. You know...it's just been one of those months. My son has started this "pouty face" and fit throwing like he's returned to the horrible land of terrible two's. My youngest has just reached the terrible two's and when we scold her, she scowls, scrunches up her little face and points her finger at me, wagging it like a new born puppy's tail. My middle child is trying to potty train. She doesn't seem to be trying, actually...and it's a problem. We had a good 2-3 weeks and then suddenly she reverted to not trying at all. Accidents everywhere. Both kind. Mind you, I am still struggling with a bit of morning sickness, so scrubbing "piles" out of the carpet isn't conducive to keeping my meals down.

Every day, it's, "Mom. Mom. Mommm. Mommmmmmm. Mommmmmyyyyy. MOMMY. Mom. MOMMY. MOM!"

Normally, I answer right away. Normally, on good days or good moments, shall we say, I am all present. I am there for my kids. But this past month we have been trying to get this house stuff together, I have been unable to multifunction. I have only been able to focus on one small thing at a time and even those things I was messing up. After hearing the "mom" word over and over, I end up snapping, "What? What do you want?!" Grrrrr. Surely I'm not the only mom who goes through this.

Then my heart melts and I feel bad when I see the confusion cross their face and they just turn away, and go about playing. Sometimes I get up and go get what they needed/wanted and some days, I call them to me to get cuddles, or some days, I'm way less than perfect and I just continue about my day, completing the work I was doing.

So being that the next month before we move will hold quite a bit of stress, I decided to make goals for myself and ideas on how to be a better mother during my "Snappy Days." Here are just a few that I came up with.

1. It's ok to be tired. Give yourself permission to be tired, to have time to yourself (take a bath, close the door and enjoy some chocolate).

2. Make time each day for each child. It's doable. 10 minutes even. Just sit down, read a story, watch a Disney Junior (30 minutes), color, give a bubble bath, paint their toe nails, even play trucks with your boys. You'll notice a huge difference in their behavior.

3. Get them involved. Let them "help." Need ideas? Here's a couple; give them a wet rag and ask them to scrub the cabinets, ask them to pick up the toys and turn on some Veggie Tales music, or something fun and upbeat.

4. Take them to the park once a week.

5. Have a quiet time for you and the kids. If you need to, stretch yourself and get up early and enjoy a hot cup of coffee, some tea or whatever you like to drink, make yourself breakfast and read a book, have devotional time, pray, listen to some music. Make time for you. And during the day, have the kids sit down on the couch and play the quiet game. Promise a treat (ice cream, frozen, flavored ice, cookies, or even outside time, or something like that). It'll change the course of the day and change the whole atmosphere.

6. Most important, take time to pray. When the panic attacks start, you find yourself breathing fast and feeling frustrated or angry, just stop what you're doing. Take 2-3 minutes to just relax, pray and reconnect.

7. Breathe. Breathe lots of deep breathes throughout the day. I find myself often shallow breathing and I think it really causes my tension to rise faster than it should.

8. Set aside time to work out a bit. Even if it's a 10-15 minute, YouTube, "Biggest Loser" walk, it'll help your attitude, your outlook and how you feel.


It's important for us moms to be honest with ourselves. It's important to express when we need a break. It's important for us to spend time with our kids. It's important to realize it's ok to be human, fail, have "Snappy Days" and it's also important for us to feel accomplished when we have good days where we have it all together. It's ok to celebrate. It's ok to be frustrated. It's all human emotion.

Let's try to turn our, "Snappy Days" into "Happy Days!"

Keeping the Cost Down

How many of us like saving money? I do! I almost laugh at the saying, "saving money" though, because my family and I have faced our own set of horrible financial setbacks and over time, I think we've only had 2-3 months that we actually "saved."

But recently, after some personal, private issues, we have found a way to buy a house and own it out right. I prefer to not talk about how this came about, because it is personal and came through an unexpected blessing. So I am now going through ways to save money, now that we won't be paying rent or a mortgage every month. Well, silly me, I realized all the ways I wanted to save money before still apply, but will actually save this time! Here are a few of my ideas.

1. During the mornings/late afternoons in the Fall/Spring, turn the AC off, and open the windows. If it gets kind of warm, turn the fan on. It uses less electricity than the AC unit.

2. Only run the dishwasher every other day and wash most things by hand.

3. Shop at thrift stores. You can get some really nice things there. Even decorations for the house and tons of kids clothes that look like new or almost new.

4. Shop at half priced goods stores, like Aldi or Big Lots, or even dollar stores. They're great for good food, cheaper prices and also, dollar stores are good for trash bags, canned goods, cleaning supplies, birthday party stuff and decorations! I've even gotten good frozen food there.

5. Buy in bulk. Having a Sam's Membership or Costco might be "expensive" up front, because you have to pay for the membership, but save up and get one. You can get a bag of rice (brown rice too!) for around $15 and it'll last for two-three months! Buy a box of canned tomatoes for $4.78. There are typically 6-8 cans per box. Pasta boxes there are cheaper. Sugar, flour, spices, meat even! I find their bags of frozen fruit and veggies are typically a tiny bit cheaper. I don't suggest buying their diapers much, unless they're having a sale.

6. Set a budget and stick with it. But...here's the thing. Always plan for glitches and weird things. For instance, our electricity is typically $80-120 a month. So I always plan for the max of $120. But the past couple of months, our meter has been off and our bill has skyrocketed to over $300 a month! They're sending someone out to fix it, but we still had to pay the bill. So plan for things like that. Expect companies to extort money out of you and give "cut off dates" if you don't pay. So plan for it. We didn't. We nearly drowned in charges like this a couple of different times.

7. You're getting out to run errands and the kids are always begging to get something to drink or eat? Go to Walmart (or discount stores have this too) and buy those bags of chips that are little. You can typically get a huge bag of 18 variety chips for about $6. Then get juice boxes that have those little straws. Those are normally about $4 and have 10-12 per box. Buy pre-wrapped crackers and cookies. Those are around $2.50 each. Then you have snacks. Not healthy, per se, but cheap. You won't be spending $15 stopping at McDonalds for snack wraps, juice boxes and cookies each time. Instead, your kids can have a snack for around $1.25 a piece each time! Worth it. And if you're really into healthy, go shopping at Whole Foods and buy Fruit and Veggies bars (split them in half and share them with the kids) and get organic juice boxes...around $10 for 6. Buy baby carrots and chop up bell peppers into steps. My kids love that! That is cheap as well. Bag them ahead of time and have them ready to go.

8. Leave lights off! If you don't need that room lit up, or not so bright, buy light bulbs that are less watts (we've learned to enjoy our 65 watt light bulbs, even in the living room). Teach your kids to turn the lights off when they leave the bathroom or their room.  Open the blinds, and enjoy natural light!

9. Teach your kids to enjoy the simple things of life. We buy the $1 crayons, and the huge pads of colored construction paper for around $2.50 (it has about 50 pages). have "color time." Buy the dollar books from the dollar store. They love them. Teach them that having things isn't what's important. Family, love and fun is. The toys bought at the thrift store are just as good as the ones bought brand new. We've even dug toys we've seen out of the trash that others have thrown away. Nothing wrong with second hand stuff!

10. Make meals that don't require all these intricate spices that cost a lot, or exotic veggies or meats. Or at least don't do that often. Make special meals for special occasions. Try to plan meals that use similar ingredients so you're not buying tons of stuff that will only be half used. If you like variety (which we do, you can still plan pasta meals with the same veggies you might steam later on as a side for a Mexican meal, or things of that sort).


All of this sounds overwhelming but I have found that you can get into the groove after a month or two of working at applying all this. I'm nowhere near perfect, but when it comes to saving money, I will strive my hardest.

Even if you're only setting aside $5 a paycheck for savings, that helps. Every little dollar builds up. Don't look at those little dollars as something that can be spent...look at it Christmas gifts, birthday's, a vacation, safety fund (very important) and things of that sort! And if you have extra money after paying your bills, and buying food, then put it aside in savings. Every penny counts! Then when you have a flat tire, you can change it and not be panicked. When the AC unit goes out, you have money set aside to buy a new one or get it fixed. Etc, etc, etc. It just continues on with things like this. Add in the comments your own money saving ideas!

Talking about 9/11 with my Kids

Living in a world that is wrought with so much pain, hurt, debauchery, hate, violence, racism, rights for all, and so on is becoming so complicated to raise kids in. As a mom, I often contemplate how to raise my kids and what the "right way" is. In this day and age, there is so much to figure out and think about. Everyone has an opinion on the wrong way to raise a child and how many right ways there are. But when it comes to soft, tender hearts that our children have, I often wonder how many mistakes I'll make. Many, many, many, I'm sure. But the main thing is that we do our best, right?

Today, as we mark the 14th anniversary of 9/11, a day many of us will never forget, I turned on a "We Remember" video, compiled of significant moments of that day. My children gathered around me while I played it and they had questions. How do you explain the horror of that day to such young hearts? Death isn't something they have much of concept of yet, let alone thousands of lives affected, lost and hurt. As we watched the plane crash into the second building, I was able to explain to my son (who is fascinated with planes) how men's hearts are full of "naughty" things and how they hurt people because they don't love Jesus. We have talked about how, when we love Jesus, we do good things for people, even if they don't love Him. But when our hearts are selfish (like stealing toys from our siblings, or hitting people because we don't like what they did to us), we hurt others with our actions. I explained that these big, grown men don't love Jesus, but how they just wanted to bully others and hurt them. I tried to convert all these grown up things into situations/examples they could understand.

By the time the video was done, my son was quiet and looked at me and said, "Mommy, I wanna do good things. I want to bring big smiley faces to people. Hurting people isn't good." I think he understood. He then told me we should pray for bad men to bring smiley faces instead. I haven't quite touched on the subject of death with him yet. I don't know how to approach that quite yet. But we'll get there...someday.

There are so many things in today's world that we are going to have to confront someday, and we can only take it one step at a time, pray and ask God to guide us and do our best.

Walking a Mile

Have you ever wondered what it was like to live back in Jesus' day, or wished you lived during a time when things seemed simpler? Those things seem to easy to want to "walk a mile" in someone's shoes who lived during those times. But when it comes to hard situations and situations we don't like, we never want to walk a mile in those shoes. Or when it comes to seeing someone's story from the outside, we judge, but in all reality, if we walked a mile in those people's shoes, we'd be happy to go back to our own shoes.

For instance, back when President George Bush was in office, especially during 9/11 and Hurricane Katrina, I remember people judging him for his decisions. Some were outraged. Some called him an incompetent leader, one that didn't care, etc. But, although I didn't have a personal behind-the-scenes look at his life and inside knowledge to his life, I had a family member who was. She cleaned his home that is located in mid-Texas, on his Crawford Ranch. At times, he and his wife, Laura, would be there. Once, she was told to go clean his office and she knocked and heard nothing. So she entered with a couple of other girls to clean. She found him kneeling on the carpet, deep in prayer, alone, by himself. This was relatively soon after 9/11 happened. He then asked the girls to pray with him. He told them that so often he didn't know the answer to decisions he needed to make and that praying was his only way to get answers, peace and guidance. He also told them that he wanted prayer, because he knew difference decisions he was making was against popular vote and that he'd be judged. He said he didn't know why God was leading him in certain directions, but that he was going with the peace.

The media, and a portion of America spent their days and nights tearing him apart, but little did they know that behind the scenes, he was desperately seeking God to find a path of peace in his decisions. As the President of the United States of America, I bet half the people sitting around, typing behind screens with all their comments on what a bad job he was doing, wouldn't really want to be in his shoes for even half a mile. Leading a country is probably one of the hardest jobs there is, whether you're a good person or not. Have you noticed how most presidents go into office with regular color hair and come out mostly grey? I would never want to walk in their shoes, unless God called me to it, which He's not.  :)

My point is, so often a person will share a story, a thought, a comment, an opinion and we never know how they came to that conclusion. We don't know why they're hurting. We don't understand why they're raising their kids that way. We don't know why they think such and such. The other day, I wrote a blog that was honest with my feelings, rightly or wrongly, on missing friends and things of that sort. For the most part, I received some really good, kind, sensitive responses. Then a few trickled in saying I was selfish, full of wanting pity and needing to "just get over it." I had to call my mom about a few comments, because I was literally shocked by one response. I wasn't sure how to respond. My Mom reminded me that they've never walked a mile in my shoes and didn't know what it was like to lose all your friends you'd had your entire life from age 5-21, nearly 22 years old. Maybe I was having a moment of stress, sadness and frustration. But, most haven't walked a mile in the shoes of those of us who have gone through losing all the friends we have ever known. It's one of those things that people think they understand the situation, yet there is no way they can know except for what is told to them.

So instead of assuming we know everyone's reasoning behind different decisions, let's assume we don't know. I am guilty of this too. I am guilty of thinking, "how on earth do they think that's ok?" or "why do they do that or say that?" when in all reality, I am thinking from the shoes that I've walked in my entire life, not their shoes. And if you want to walk a mile in their shoes, realize you'll probably never really understand. You'll never know how many nights they laid awake, crying, praying and asking God for guidance. You'll never know the hard decisions they had to make to get them where they're at. You'll never know the pain they hold from making those decisions, or the attacks they've gotten for it. All of us have struggles. All of us have pain. All of us have stories and journeys and no one knows better than we do the amount of struggle we've gone through. So let's determine to love, not judge. Lift up, not put down. And don't say anything if you can't say something nice! :) Always a good, golden rule!!!

A Glimpse into My Past (with Pictures!)

This is going to be a brutally honest post here.

I just want family. I want to be accepted. I want to be invited to things. I want people to think of me. I feel like I have spent my entire life pouring myself out, reaching out to others, serving, loving on and accepting others only to in turn, get slapped in the face over and over by people deliberately leaving me out of their lives. What do I need to do? Am I just stupid? Am I dumb? Why the heck is it that I am left out of family and friend's life, when they know my heart is just aching for them to want me too?

It hurts. It hurts to see pictures of baby showers, birthdays, anniversaries, conferences, get togethers, etc, and know that I could have been there, making friends, loving on others. I don't want to suck the life out of people. I want to add to their lives. I want to give to them. I want to bless and love them. But no one gives me a chance.

Last night, I scrolled through pictures of my old church and cried until my chest hurt. I questioned my sanity on leaving there. I questioned why God called me out. I questioned every aspect of my life since that fateful moment of leaving Homestead Heritage. I questioned every single thought and action I've taken as I moved away from the life I loved and enjoyed. I even wrote my dad and told him I must have a psychological issue, because I'm like a dog to it's vomit. I keep returning to open up the old wounds of leaving my friends; Hailey, Krista, Susanna, Mickey, Tiffany, Regina, Joy, Julaine, Rebekah, and so many, many, many others! I keep mulling over the memories of choir, orchestra, volley ball, baby showers, bridal showers, quilting parties, dinners, get togethers, FUN!

Suddenly it dawned on me. There, I was accepted. There, I was loved. There, I found happiness. Out here in the world? It's full of cold people. People who just focus on their own selves and their little established circle of friends. They hold on to petty offenses. They don't care one damn about other people. They believe lies. They spread rumors. They refuse to forgive and forget. They turn others against me. Yeah, some people at my old church do the same...and have done the same and are still doing the same. But I know their reasoning. I understand why. And if they weren't under the power of the blackest demonic cloud ever, they would never consider being that way out here.

So no wonder I hold onto the past. No wonder I feel as if I'm living in a dream and just coping out here. It's all a bad nightmare and someday I'll wake up and have all my friends back, right? Nope. I just want to fit in. I just want to have friends. I just want people to enjoy me being their friend. But so far, I've not found a single soul out here that has room for me. Coping is hard. Coping sends people over the edge. Coping makes people crazy. Coping is just existence because they have to.

I'm tired of coping. I'm tired of trying. I'm tired. Tired. TIRED. My heart stays crushed. I smile because I need to. I smile because I'm raising kids that need a mama. I smile because if anyone saw the pain that ran so deep in my veins, I'm pretty sure I'd scare every single person away. Oh wait! I forgot. I already scared everyone away. Gotta just hold on, because I have four little lives to love and care for. I have a husband who loves me...thank God for him. I have parents that know what I'm going through...thank God for them. I can only hope someday, somewhere, this cavern in my heart will be filled and that God leads me somewhere that has people who care, who love, who accept. I hope He leads me somewhere that has people that will allow me to grow, say stupid things, forgive and move on, and help me mature. I feel like I'm stuck back where my life ended...at 16 years old. I feel like I am a 28 year old in a 16 year old's body. I pray that God finds me friends who will allow me to make mistakes and help me grow through them, instead of pushing me out when the going gets rough. Maybe someday, I'll feel my age and be emotionally mature. But right now, that's not where I'm at. I'm a hurting, scared, scarred, bleeding soul that just needs love and acceptance. I know God says He fulfills all the needs, but He created humans to help with that. That's why I want friends, family, sister in laws, cousins, nieces and nephews,...love.

Here's a collage of my past...see, I did have friends. Unlike what I've been accused of, in the past, of being "unlovable" and "so disrespectful that no one would ever want to be my friend...." etc. (Ps. the people saying that had literally never even had dinner with me, or even had coffee with me, to know the slightest bit about me).

 At my 17th birthday party with a handful of my friends.

 Elizabeth and me

 My Dad and I working with the tiller to get the Spring garden going!

 Still trying to get the tiller started!

 Cousins! Miss Thanksgivings and Christmas' with them.

 Rachel and her niece.

 Little Kids Choir practice!

 Being normal in this picture.

 Playing the piano for Little Kids Choir!

 Best friend, Joy. Miss her like crazzzyyyy!

 Working on the quilt for the Cronin's Anniversary.

 My birthday party at age 21.

 21st birthday celebration!

 More of the quilt!

 Birthday!

 Birthday!

 Quilting time!

 Quilting time!

 More quilting time!

 Mom and me.

 Happy! See that face? I was happy. HAPPY. Miss those days.

Rejection and Encouragement

In life, we all face rejection at some point. It ranges from the schoolhouse yard, to our families, to friends, to jobs, etc. Rejection happens. So what do we do when we face rejection? Well, speaking from personal experience, I have to say a lot of times I curl up in anger, frustration, confusion and bitterness. I'm not a good example of what you should do. But lately, as I've worked at coming out of my own shell, to reach out to others, I have had to search within my heart to discover what the best route I should take to overcome rejection.

I will give a small list and then expound on them, in hopes this helps someone, as I am trying to help myself.

1. When rejection comes, focus on how you can bless someone else.
2. Get your mind off of yourself and onto someone else
3. Pray for the person who is doing the rejecting
4. Search your heart to see if you offended them and make it right if you have.
5. Remember that it is their problem, not yours, that they're rejecting you. Especially if you've done all you can to make things right.

I want to stop right here and remind everyone that Jesus faced rejection.

John  15:18 says, "If the world hates you, remember that the world hated Me before it hated you."

Isaiah 53: 3 says, "He was despised and rejected by men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief; and as one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not."

John 1:11 says, "He came to his own, and his own people did not receive him."

Psalm 118:22 says, "The stone that the builders rejected has become the cornerstone."

There are many other scriptures to show that Jesus faced rejection, but I never read about Him responding in a vile way, offended or hurt. Instead, we read about Him reaching out to people and loving on them. He met people where they were and He told us to forgive. We are human and it is only natural for us to have human feelings. It is only natural for us to feel the sting of rejection. It is only natural to feel hurt. But it's the reaction to that sting and hurt that is what's important. Do we lash out, snap at people, go on a deleting spree on Facebook/Twitter/Instagram, get bitter and angry?

I'm not one to be talking about all this, because I have been the worst at getting offended and blocking/deleting people. In the past couple of years, I've done a lot better at not flying off the handle and getting offended with harsh reactions. But I've been on the other side of being deleted and blocked for who knows what reasons. For some reason, being blocked and deleted really hurts, especially when you have no idea why. Or even more weirdly, when people accept your husband, but not you. Or when you haven't even followed/become friends with someone and you go to look for them and find they've purposely gone to look for you to just block you. Whaaaattttt??!! A lot of times, I think the people who get blocked (me!) are the ones who are a bit more outspoken. Sometimes I post things I shouldn't. Sometimes I get more fired up than I should. And sometimes I'm just struggling with something and people think one of two things. One, being that I'm talking about them. (This is for another post to expound on, but I'll say this, if you think I'm talking about you, then your conscience is probably bothering you about something). Or two, I've been judgmental and hurtful and you don't want to deal with it. (Your right completely!) For instance, I posted something the other day on my Twitter, as I have some followers on there that have kept up with my story on leaving Homestead Heritage. Previous blog posts speak more on that subject, if you're interested. But I had posted on there that Christianity and pushing family/friends aside because of petty offenses seemed hypocritical and sad. I said that not caring about family because of religious beliefs really seemed wrong (paraphrased). Next thing I know, another set of friends/family thought I was talking about them. Blahhhh. Sometimes I don't think before I post, which is something I am really working on. I try to think before I post, but sometimes, as humans do, I get frustrated and say/type things before thinking about how this might affect different parties.

Then there are the many reasons us moms go through offenses, ranging from formula feeding and breastfeeding, rear facing and forward facing, vaccinations and no vaccinations, organic or regular, vegetarian or carnivorous, and so on. Oh my! The Mommy Wars (as I like to call them) can certainly become heated. People lose friends over it! Literally! I mean, come on ladies! The end result is always the same...hurt feelings, crazy crying and tons of deleting! And on top of that, we all want the same thing; the best for our kids. There are always two sides to things and putting people down for their way of parenting and doing things doesn't help matters.

So I guess the bottom line with this is saying, rejection happens. It happens purposely and not purposely. It happens because people aren't sensitive, or they're outspoken, fiery red-heads like me. I just want to encourage you that when you face it, or you're the cause of it, you can overcome! Like I said at the beginning of the blog post, turn the focus off of yourself and look at how you can bless the person you offended. Pray for them. Ask God to bless them. Do what you can to make things right. And try to think before you post, text or speak! Work hard at loving everyone, no matter what. Your life will change and you'll be able to reach so many more people by not holding onto petty offenses and blocking/deleting everyone out of your life!

I hope the blog posts encourage you, because I try to be brutally honest with how human I am. I am always encouraged when I read others post of their downfalls and how they gain victory. I want to be an encouragement and give you a boost to your day! <3

Pushing Beyond Our Limits

The other day I commented on a prominent women leader's post on Instagram about how I felt a lot of women were judged, left out, forgotten (purposely and inadvertently) and so on. I don't really remember what prompted me to say what I did, but I remember feeling disturbed and commented out of that frustration.

I am speaking from experience. I have been through a lot with people in the "Christian world." I have felt left out, pushed out, forgotten and stomped on. I know it happens to others as well. I have several friends who either don't go to church because of the hurt they've experienced, or they go because they feel it's the only thing left for them to do. So when I commented on this women leaders page, I was posting out of hurt and frustration. Imagine my surprise when she took the time to respond to me! She told me to use the hurt and frustration as a foundation for finding other women who have been hurt the same as me and to create an atmosphere of love and acceptance for them. In other words, she was saying to step out of my shell and find a place of ministry and love for others and there, I would find healing and grace.

I have wanted to reach women of all ages, including teens since I was about 15 years old. When the dream was born into my heart to minister to women, I had absolutely no way of accomplishing that with the situation I was in. (Another story for another day). I was 15 years old and I was flying out to California to be with family. I was landing at LAX and as we were flying over the city, I was looking out of the window, excited to be in such a big, unique city. My thoughts were on vacation and having fun when all of a sudden I found myself choked up, full of emotion and it was almost like an audible voice said, "This is your city. This is where I am calling you. This is your ministry." It has never been confirmed  by anyone in the Christian world. I won't claim to say it was God, but I will say I have a strong feeling it was. I see a picture of LA and my heart wells up with longing to be there, to walk the streets and reach people, teens, girls, and share hope, love and acceptance.

So what is the first step to getting there? Well, I have a lot of things to overcome. First of all, getting really real here, I have an anxiety disorder. I have PTSD. I have chronic panic attacks. I can't even go into the grocery store without my husband or kids there because I have some unrealistic fear of having to hand my credit card to the cashier and having to talk to them. If I go by myself, I keep my eyes to myself, I fast-walk through the entire store and finish as fast I can, then I go to the self check. I breathe a sigh of relief as soon as I'm out. I go to church gatherings and stand in the back, leave as the last song is complete and rush out without making eye contact. Talking terrifies me. But how can I minister if I don't reach out, have relationships and step out of my comfort zone? How can I do what God has called me to without pushing myself to do things I'm scared of? I bet every Olympian feels pushed, tired, strained, pulled beyond their limits to get where they're at. I bet every Christian leader that has an impact on the world has had to overcome obstacles in their lives. I bet anyone who has done anything with their lives beyond the mundane has had to push themselves to do things they'd never do to get where they're at. God wants to use our limitations to show us how big He is. He wants to use the flawed so His perfection can be glorified. He wants to use the sick to show His healing powers. He wants to use the scared so His boldness can be used. He uses imperfect people to reach an imperfect world in an incredibly perfect way.

So here is to being scared, having anxiety, unsure of the future, and panic attacks. Here's to my imperfections and the knowledge and hope that He will use this flawed vessel to express His love, to minister to His girls and to make a difference in a tired, worn out, exhausted, hurting, flawed world. Here is to being undaunted, unstoppable, a Lioness compelled by Love. 

What If?

In today's world, there are numerous opinions about every single subject there is. They range from what president should be elected, to what shoes are best to work out in, to what type of foods shouldn't be eaten, to what religion is the best.

Arguments ensue over every single thing, some more intense than others. I believe everyone has a right to their opinion. Everyone has a right to think and say what they believe. But the controversy over Cecil the Lion being hunted and killed, and the controversy over Planned Parenthood and the selling of fetal tissue and parts got me to thinking late last night while I was rocking my daughter to sleep.

What if we all tried to find the positive in every situation, whether we agree with it or not. For example;

1. The situation with Cecil, the Lion. How about we look at it this way? This story will probably be in the history books, so our children will read about it. They'll be able to see the wrongness of killing a lion that has done nothing wrong, and can see the ramifications of this dentists actions. Not only did he kill an animal that was endangered (I think that is what I understood, at least), which is  breaking the law, but he is also receiving death threats and all sorts of things. Who wants to go through that? So our children can learn from his mistakes and illegal activities.

2. Planned Parenthood. Gahhh! Frustrating subject and is a real hotspot for people. But let's talk about it. If we don't, the positive in this situation won't ever come to light. They kill babies. Plain and simple. They take lives. But before all the videos came out, how was there proof for those who "need proof" that they take lives? Ok, that sounds ridiculous to those of us who know that from the moment of conception, that "piece of tissue" is really a baby. But some people just imagine some blob in there and I guess, in their minds it magically becomes a baby when it's born. In all reality, the baby starts out with cells that form so fast and grow and double each day. By the time the baby has reached 5 weeks gestation (which is really just 2-3 weeks from the sperm meeting the egg and beginning it's travel down the fallopian tubes into the uterus), it already has a heart! And that heart is beating around 160 bpm. Amazing, isn't it? Ok, so where can I find the positive in all of this? A lot of people were not aware of what baby cells looked like, or that they even looked like a baby. These people who were on the fence on if abortion was right or not have changed their minds and are now pro-life and anti-abortion.
  Secondly, there are SO many people who get upset about population control. Planned Parenthood does provide care for women with low income, including birth control and in the past (unsure if they still do this), have provided tubal litigation and other forms of permanent birth control. So if you don't like that the world is filling up with people so fast, then appreciate the fact that they do help with that problem. They provide care for pregnant women who need assistance and they have also seen many a mother come in for an ultrasound and pregnancy test, thinking that they would get an abortion, only to see that little heart beating on the screen, and change their mind to save their baby.

Alright, so there are my thoughts. What if we just try to be positive and find the positive? It'll help bring a lot more joy to the world, even if it's like scrounging through trash to find a small piece of gold. Social media is a great way to reach the the world and help others have a ray of sunshine in their life. So let's bring joy. Let's bring light. Let's bring a movement of #PositivityBringsJoy to the world.

Perseverance Pays Off

This all began on Saturday. We woke up and knew the van brakes weren't working on the front, drivers side. So we had parked it for a couple of weeks to save some pennies to buy the parts. We figured it would be relatively quick to fix, but low and behold, as most car problems are, it turned out to be a mess.

I really can't name all the problems we ran into! It just seemed like one thing after another. Biggest of them all, whoever installed the brakes before we bought the van must've used super glue (not literally, but there is a type of glue people use for car-fixing things) on the bolts that hold the brakes/rotor on. So my husband had to buy all sorts of weird tools, including a couple of specialty ones from the Honda dealership and NAPA auto parts to be able to remove them.  Well, those didn't come in until Tuesday. Mind you, I'm used to being with out a vehicle, so being without a van for a few days was really ok. For the first 4 years of marriage, we shared a car and got along just fine. But it was a blessing having my Honda Odyssey and I did feel a little bit "stranded" without something to drive! But hey, it taught me patience and more thankfulness for the things I have. Anyways, tonight as my husband worked, toiled, sweated and prayed over the brakes, I stood out there, trying my best to be cheerful and helpful. I don't know how many times I pumped the brakes to help bleed the air out of the system while he knelt down on the hard concrete trying to make sure it was working properly. We probably took the whole thing apart and put it back again at least three times tonight. But in the end, that precious feeling of the brake feeling stiff after pumping it a few times, happened! He took it for a drive and tested it out. It worked perfectly!

I guess I write all this to say how perseverance and determination really do pay off. Trial and error happens in all sorts of situations in our lives, but if we keep trying, if we keep setting our minds for a high goal, then we will obtain it. You won't believe how many times doubt entered my head and escaped my lips a few times, or the times my husband leaned his head into the van, frustration painted all over his face. But in spite of each failure, my husband would pick up the tools and just try something again. Nearing the end of the night, my husband finally picked up the phone and called my Dad. With all his experience and fatherly wisdom, he pointed my husband in one direction and told him to give it a try. It was a simple direction. He said, "Try adding more brake fluid and bleed it out. Top it off. See if that helps." Simple. So off Paul went to get more brake fluid and within minutes of topping the fluid out and pumping the brake literally three times, it was finished. Complete. Perfect. No squeals. Nothing.

Sometimes in our lives we reach road blocks. We find problems. We get overwhelmed. We want to give up. Sometimes we need to pick up the phone and ask for some wisdom. Sometimes we need to stop and pray. Sometimes we just need to keep going no matter what, despite how tired we are, how sore our feet feel or how dirty we get. Perseverance pays off.

And on a different note, same song, it saved us probably around $3k doing it ourselves. I am thankful God teaches me lessons through everything we do in life. It helps me grow and it helps me be more mature through situations in life down the road.

Simplicity at it's Finest

It's Saturday. It's a lazy Saturday. It's a day where my children are running around being silly. There isn't a specific schedule we are adhering to. There's nothing pressing to do besides making sure food is on the table and the simplest of things like sweeping and vacuuming is done. Today is a day where I have High School Musical playing on Paul's computer for the kids and I have Anne of Green Gables playing on the TV for me. I've tried to get them to enjoy Anne, but low and behold, there is nothing more exciting than teenagers dancing and singing to a great, enticing, addicting beat.

As I have grown older and my children are getting bigger, I have struggled as a mother, to decide how I want to raise my children. Raising children isn't as easy as smiling at a camera and saying, "cheese." It's full of questions, doubt, more questions and more doubt. Of course, it's also full of fun, laughter and tons of giggles. But something that I've found is that this world is complicated. So, so, so complicated. For instance, the other day, Paul sold one of his phones online and he sent it to the guy. The guy wrote a review and told him he was buying the phone for his five year old nephew. FIVE. Five years old guys! Who lets their five year old have a phone, and a nice one at that? I'm not talking about a little flip phone with just the ability to call out and get calls. I'm talking about a nice, touch screen, new fangled phone with all the new specs on it, with the ability to access the Internet and social media. My own four year old son has already been obsessed with our iPhones and have wanted us to buy him one. Let me tell you, my answer was a resounding no. But that doesn't stop the complications of raising him in a world where it is just assumed that those things are ok and acceptable. I'll give you a glimpse into my thought life on this one subject....

"Ok, so when he goes to school, if he doesn't have a phone and all his friends do, will he be bullied? Well, it shouldn't matter. I'm the parent. I don't think it's best for him to have one. But what if he gets depressed? We've all seen the horrible effects of bullying. Some kids commit suicide. My heart would break if my kid did that just because he didn't have a phone. But what if he accident accesses pornography. Or what if someone stalks him and he disappears in the middle of the night?"

So that is just part of my thought process. It's one of millions of things my thoughts go in circles about. Then today, I started watching Anne of Green Gables and my heart yearned for the simpler days where enjoyment came from making flower wreaths for our hair, and swimming/fishing/riding bikes were the thrill. I wish that running three legged races were more common and walking through fields arm in arm were what was peaceful. But in today's world, our phones, computers, tv's and computer games are what occupies us. Our children think that playing with guns and soldiers are what is thrilling. They think that dressing up as Miss America and having waists the size of a pencil is what is attractive. Where did we stray from enjoying cows, chickens, flowers and fishing? Why has those things become "special occasions" and "uncommon?"As a parent, I wish we could enjoy simplicity at it's finest all the time instead of it being something we do on vacation or on a camping trip. So as a parent, I am trying to find that balance to bring those things back as common and usual. I want to raise my children where they're ok with not having all the new fangled things the world is full of, yet live in harmony with those who do have those things. I hope to raise them to enjoy having some meat on their bones (not fat, not unhealthy, just not being stick thin) and to enjoy flowers, water, bicycles and fishing. I hope to raise them to enjoy the older things, the things of the past, because back in those days, people's lives weren't so complicated or stressed.

Raising children in today's world is full of different opinions and thoughts. But I think most of us could agree that raising children to enjoy life with simple things would be good. Happy parenting, mamas!

What Love Can Do

This last week in the news, I saw an article about a group demanding "Cracker Barrel" change it's name. The reason was because it was a "white" guy leaning up against a beer barrel and it supposedly made all American men seem like drunks. How they derived that meaning from a guy who actually looks brown and orange to me, I don't know! My first reaction was amusement and then I had a bit of frustration. Why is it that it seems everyone is getting offended over literally everything? It's everything. I'll make a list of just a few of the ones I can think of right now.

1. The Kardashians
2. The Confederate Flag (isn't that just a part of history?)
3. Gays, Lesbians, Transexuals, Bisexuals, Straights
4. The Duggars
5. Yoga pants
6. Vaccinations/No vaccinations
7. Mexican Illegals
8. Nursing in public/Covering up
9. How police deal with violence
10. Everything else inbetween

I'm pretty sure there are hundreds more, especially in the Christian world. This day and age, it seems Christians are so divided in beliefs, and how they interpret the Bible. I will be the first to say I am not sure of what all I believe in. I have been confused on who God is and what He means with certain things in the Bible. I am not perfect and I do not claim to be perfect or have it all together when it comes to this "being a Christian" thing. In fact, as many know, I refuse to even say I am a Christian. I just prefer to say I love Jesus and I try to do my best to follow him. I fail. I fail all the time.

I believe God wants diversity in His people. He wants the outgoing. He wants the shy. He wants the bold and He wants the more conservative. He wants people who want to go to the nations and wants people who have a heart to stay at home and minister to their neighborhood. He wants people who enjoy love to sing and those who love to preach. He wants the poor. He wants the rich. He wants every nationality; white, black, red, yellow....or even better way to say it, English, Irish, Russian, Jew, German and Italians too. (Sing that to "Jesus loves the little children, all the children of the world....red and yellow, black and white..." Get it? :)   ). And please don't get offended if your nationality wasn't mentioned. I mean every single nationality in the entire world...God wants each of them.

But even more than He wants all of the diversity, He wants unity. He wants unity of heart, soul and mind. He wants Love to be the binding force that brings us together. He wants the rich to love the poor. He wants the straights to love the gays. He wants the whites to love the blacks. He wants the vaccinators to love the non-vaccinaters. ("Vaccinators" is probably not a real word...just go with it! lol). Etc, etc, etc.

As someone who has been at the end of a lot of hate and dissension dished out by more than one church, I can speak from experience that being told that I was going to hell because I was leaving a certain church, or being kicked out of a ladies group because it was "unhealthy" for me, was full of hate and hurt for me. I know many, many, many people who have been hurt by the church. It is sad how many have turned away from even trying to love God, or know Him because the avenues He has placed in the world to show His love, instead are going around creating division and confusion. I would love to see a world of Christians reaching out to and loving on every single type of person in the world. I would love to see Love prevailing, because Jesus did say that the greatest thing we could do was love. He wasn't limiting that to just the perfect, Pinterest styled people. He wants us to love everyone. Let's let Love prevail and take over the world! Let's see what Love can do!

PS. Here is a picture of Cracker Barrel's logo...what do you think? Does it depict that all American men are drunk? LOL.