Just Relax in His Arms

I'm a perfectionist in a lot of things. I want things to go smoothly. I want life to make sense. I want everyone to be happy. I want to be happy. But more often than not, I find my forehead wrinkled, my teeth clenched and my heart racing.

Being a mom is nerve wracking nearly every day. My children are ages one, two and four. My one year old has figured out how to climb onto pretty much anything. It doesn't matter if there is a stool, or a chair, she'll find a way, even if it's just using her little muscles to pull herself up. Today, she figured out how to climb up onto her highchair. I was holding a hot bowl of soup when I first saw her earlier today, trying to vault herself over the snap-on table top of her highchair. I froze. Help!  I didn't want to say her name for fear she'd freak out and fall yet I didn't want her to continue to climb and fall. What to do?! Fortunately my hubby was sitting near the table and he was able to rush and rescue our adventurous little munchkin.

My son loves to catapult himself off the top of our couch and stretch his arms out, yelling as he jumps, "Mommy! I'm an airplane!!!" Oh my heart! If you've known me for the past three years, you'll remember that my son broke his leg jumping off the top of our couch when he was two or so and we had the police, firefighters, CPS and a whole hoard of angry doctors surrounding us. We were guilty until proven innocent in their eyes. It didn't matter that my house was clean, and there was plenty of food in our fridge. It didn't matter that we loved our kids. We were criminals until they had checked our son over and didn't find bruises and until a 4:30 am visit from CPS had taken place. Trust me, 4:30 am is a great time to grill someone with questions about their entire life history, and check the house all over, all the while I'm struggling with nausea from my pregnancy (I didn't know I was pregnant at the time though!) and dealing with the fact that I was at home and my husband and son were in a hospital 30 miles away. Fortunately, the lady was extremely nice and easy to talk to. We ended up sipping coffee and visiting with more relaxed shoulders than we started out with. Whew.

My oldest daughter hasn't really gotten into any scrapes besides just being cute and having the most gorgeous blue eyes you've ever seen. Oh, and having an extra dose of naughty that is so hard to resist when she's prancing around, holding her dress out and sing-songing, "I'm a princess!" All the while I'm trying to figure out how to get this little bundle of princess to obey! Ha! Good luck to that, right?

All of that to say, life is full of teeth clenching, wrinkle-browing, sweating bullet moments. Not just with our parenting, but with daily life issues; bills, home buying/renting, marriage/relationships, parents, etc. Life is full of moments that we find ourselves holding our breath and turning blue in the face because we are just so busy trying to control everything and make everything perfect.

This week I had the flu, my kids were going crazy while I laid on the couch sniffling and catching naps, trying to do school, and also find a place to live because we need to move in about a month. I found myself tight shouldered and exhausted within the first five minutes of being awake. But then I was reminded that Jesus is my Father. He wants me to relax. He wants me to take time to hear His heartbeat. There is something so stilling, so comforting to lean up against a nice warm chest and hear a steady, slow heartbeat. That is what He desires for us.  Sitting at His feet and listening to the wonderful things He has to say to us is something He desires for us. He says to us,  "Relax child. I've got this. Don't worry. I've got everything you need and you don't need to worry."

So relax! Enjoy some quiet time and listen to the steady beat of His heart. It'll be calming! Trust me. It's worth it.