Learning the Ropes of Motherhood

I'm a mom to three kids. I've been a mother for nearly five years. But it wasn't until this past week that I feel like I'm "getting there" with just accomplishing the most mundane of things that come with being a mom. You know, the typical every day stuff that is part of being a mom; sweeping, mopping, cooking, vacuuming, laundry, cleaning the bathrooms, teaching, crafts, playing with the kids, etc.

Somehow, I think I was, in my mind, back when I was a little girl, playing house and almost expected that the house would just clean itself or something. I would find spurts here and there where my house would sparkle all the time and meals would be cooked and the kids would all be clean with fresh, smiley faces. But perfectionism became too much for me. While I like a clean house, and fresh, smiley faces and Martha Stewart meals on my table, the challenge to be all, all at once drove me into a state of sadness, depression and feeling inadequate. Every time I'd fail, I'd feel like I couldn't get back up and try again. Besides the every day things going on, we had a lot more going on in our lives that were hard and trying. So as I couldn't reach the goals I had on a daily basis and be the perfect, Pinterest-styled mother, my depression deepened.

A few weeks ago, I was talking with my Dad on the phone and I was telling him that I was suddenly figuring out that it was ok to take time for me, and that I was learning to give myself permission to have feelings and fail. There is something about learning those vital things in life that give such freedom.  Living a perfect life is impossible. The kids will color on the wall. Milk will be spilled. The laundry will be forgotten. The carpet won't get vacuumed. Dinner won't get made. But you know what? That's ok. It's ok to not get everything done every day and live that perfect life you imagine everyone else is living. (I'll let you in on a little secret: Everyone else is not living a perfect life!) It's ok to strive to get your "to-do" list done. It's great when you accomplish 3/4 of it! It's great when you get 1/2 of it done. It's great when you only get 1/4 of it done. It's even ok if you don't get any of it done. Just get up the next day and do your best. Push yourself. Challenge yourself. Don't let a day go by that you just slump down and don't do anything.  I've found that when I don't feel like doing anything is when I need to push myself to do something. Normally, after a few minutes of determination and fortitude, new energy kicks in.

Some things that I do that help motivate me during the day are:

1. Eat a healthy breakfast (no sugar orange juice, whole wheat toast and an egg!)
2. Have some worship time (Jesus Culture and Hillsong get me going!)
3. Laugh with the kids
4. While cleaning and doing daily activities, turn the tv off and play music! (JLo, Pitbull, Pharrel, Christian, whatever floats your boat.)
5. Encourage someone else (call, text, FB message).

Learning the ropes of motherhood is full of challenges. It won't always be easy. But make sure you give room for you. It's ok to go out and enjoy a movie, drink some Starbucks coffee, go shopping for groceries by yourself, have a girls night, etc. And give yourself room to fail. Don't beat yourself up because your house doesn't look the Pinterest pictures you pin to your wall late at night that are all beautifully decorated and perfect looking---all the while your living room has toys spread all around and your bedroom has a pile of laundry the size of Mount Everest in it. You're allowed to live life. You're allowed to enjoy it! You're allowed to cry. You're allowed to fail. You're allowed to look like a mess. You're allowed to just plop the kids in front of the tv for an hour while you just soak in some you time, even if that time is sitting on a towel in the bathroom, with the door shut, munching on a stowed-away bag of chocolate. You can hope that they'll enjoy Mickey Mouse for 10 minutes before they start looking for you! Motherhood is full of ups and downs. You'll make mistakes. You'll get angry. You'll have days you wanna snap. You'll have days everything will go smoothly and you'll feel on top of the world. Each feeling is ok!

Enjoy your life!! Have fun!