The Battle of Following Jesus

So, I'm not someone who will claim perfection. I am totally, irrevocably human. I make HUGE mistakes. I sin. I fail. I make God's heart sad a lot, I am sure. But I'm trying. Well, have I been trying?

This post might be a little deep, so please bear with me and I hope you can hear my heart. It's a post of shame, victory, struggle and more victory. And more struggle.

Every single time my husband and I really start trying to live fully for God, committed in deeper ways, it seems the devil starts attacking like a vicious, horrible, awful, possessed demon dog. I can not tell you how many times this has happened. I think I can honestly say that it is every single time. It never ceases to amaze me at how hard the devil attacks. He's knocked me off my feet a few times and I've caved and given up sometimes. Sometimes I have forgotten to pray. Some days, prayer was the last thing from my mind, and then the next day, I think, "What the heck just happened? I should have just prayed. Praying ALWAYS works."

Did you hear that? Praying always works. 

Now, us as humans, or should I say I, as a human...there, that's better. Now I'm not lumping the rest of you guys together. I, as a human, so often get wrapped up in thinking that once I'm following God, he will protect me from the strong, satanic attacks. But guys, that is not reality. It is just not what happens!

I saw a friend post on Facebook the other day something that said along the lines of this,

The level of your satanic attack is a sign that you are a high value target and something worth attacking...#1 It shows how valuable you are to God in your assignment #2 It is an indicator of the blessings God has for you on the other side of the attack-Jentezen Franklin

So here is my thinking, the devil starts to see us praying and following God and he decides to just attack us. Then, we get discouraged thinking that we must be doing something wrong and that God isn't pleased with us. Now, I'm not God, and I don't know how things really work, but this is what I imagine. I imagine that there is this dark side and then there is this beautiful light side. The devil and all his cohorts sees us on our knees, having a conversation with the Most High God, the God who created the universe, the God who created them, and they start shaking in their puny boots. Or sandals. Or whatever they wear. Then, the angles on God's side sees us battling on our knees and they stand there in all their glory and mightiness, just ready to jump into battle with us upon His command. The Lord sits on His throne and He lets us battle. He knows that without a struggle, we can't become stronger. So He lets us use our spiritual muscles. When you use muscles, they become stronger, bigger, more powerful, able to carry more weight and do more things. It's not that He is leaving us to fight alone. We aren't. The Bible says we wrestle not with flesh and blood, but with the principalities and powers of the evil one. (Ephesians 6:12) He sends others along side us to help us. He sends his angels to protect us when things get out of control  (Psalm 91: 11 and Luke 4:10). He sets them up around us as a hedge to ward off the evil one.

So why do we face struggles? Why do things seem like we lose control and everything...like every little thing...goes wrong? I have a theory. At least this seems very true for me. What happens is we get discouraged and we stop fighting. We stop using our spiritual muscles. And you know what? We then allow the devil to have a hay-day with our minds, hearts, souls and lives. We gave up. Not God.

I am so guilty of this. I am literally probably the worst at this. I am not pointing fingers...because if I did, I'd most certainly have four fingers pointed back at me...so instead of doing that, I will just point all the fingers at myself. I give up so easily sometimes. I just get overwhelmed and I question God and His realness, His goodness, His love. Then I just quit. I've been a quitter.

But here's the thing.

God is a forgiving God. He welcomes us over and over and over again. He forgives over and over and over again. He is ready and waiting for us each time. We can be that prodigal son that comes trekking home with raggedy clothes, mud all over us, no money or food and absolutely hopeless. He'll clean us up, He'll throw us a party and welcome us home, His long lost son or daughter. (Luke 15: 11-32). 

So let's not be quitters! Let's not give up so easily when the devil starts fighting. Let's fight back. Let's pick up our swords and fight with all we've got. When the devil starts fighting, let's get down on our knees and pray harder. When he attacks again, let's sing all the louder. (Chronicles 20: 21 Jehoshaphat sent the worshippers out ahead of the battle). When he comes at us with depression, sadness, anger or whatever it is that plagues our hearts and minds, let's conquer it with the Word of God's Truth. Let's overpower the evil one with the Word of God and His promises.