I came out this morning to find my son had found our stash of yogurts and had opened two of them, demolishing them on my living room floor, with plenty of it spread around. My oldest daughter was sitting, princess style, on the carpet tracing her fingers through the cold, gooey mess making pictures with it. I had my one year old baby on my hip who was actively stinking up her diaper when I came around the corner and I just wanted to cry. To be honest, I did cry! I sat down on the carpet with all three kids and while they cried over mommy being upset, I cried about my sticky $20 Ikea rug being a coloring mat. What a cry fest that was!
This morning didn't start out the way I wanted. My perfect morning goes something like this (don't ask me if this "dream morning" has ever happened. It hasn't.)
1. Get up at the crack of dawn and have a nice cup of coffee.
2. Sip on the delicious brown concoction while I read my daily devotions and read my Bible. Pray.
3. Get a load of laundry going before kids get up.
4. Get the kids dressed, hair brushed and breakfast on the table.
5. Have our prayer time, Jesus time, worship time.
Then the rest of the day goes on.
While some mornings happen close to that order and can be somewhat successful, I have found that I don't normally have a routine that is perfect at all times. It's one of those things that moms have to come to terms with, and that's ok! *insert- "listen to your own words, Coutney.* Ha!
The day continued to go downhill. My two year old daughter figured out how to open the two dead bolt locks on our front door. Of course she had to figure that out while I was indisposed at the moment and didn't even hear her open the door. Next thing I know my four year old son comes running into the bathroom (who needs privacy, right?! ;) ) saying, "Mama, Natalie outside, Natalie GONE!" Well, there went my 1 minute of peace and quiet. I was still in my pajamas and I didn't want to give the neighbors something to talk about for weeks, so I shimmied into my jeans while running out the front door to find my crying daughter who had found herself alone, in the cold, by our van. Thank the Lord for keeping her safe! After giving her a stern talking to and piling a couple of heavy chairs and a coffee table in front of the door, I found myself beating myself up over what happened. All the "what if's" and the "I'm such a bad mom," to "Why didn't I hear her open the door? I was gone for just a few moments!" thoughts overwhelmed my head. I panicked and called my husband at work. I cried. I told him I felt like I was the worst mama in the world. Today was just not my day.
But you know what? There's a good in all this bad, and that is that Jesus loves me. He knows I'm trying my best. He knows my heart. He cares. And He loves to be there when we feel down and He whispers encouragement to our aching, battered, frustrated, tired, over-stretched, too-little-sleep, just-want-peace-and-quiet minds. He tells us that He will strengthen us. He tells us He will protect us. He tells us that He will guide us. And while we can't take care of every last little thing, He reminds us that He is holding the whole world in His hands and that He's got this. He reminds us that we are His. He reminds us we are beautiful. We are good mamas. We make mistakes, but He picks us up, brushes us off and sets us on firm foundations again. Our mistakes and failures do not define who we are. We are daughters of the Most High King. He has given us charge over some sweet, innocent, loving souls. He trusts us. We are raising a generation that will be world changers for His Kingdom.
So don't let the mistakes and failures of the day get you down. Don't let it define who you are. Don't let the mistakes and failures become who you are. When you get down and feel like you're not enough, take a look around you. Look at the smiling faces that look up to you and call you "mama." Remember the blessings He has given and enjoy the messy here-and-now. It'll all get better eventually.
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